i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
AH GAWD I’VE BEEN CHOSEN!!
1. We can’t really be friends unless I can freely tell you when I’m pooping 2. And then I will proceed to send you snapchats while sitting on the toilet 3. If you don’t let me fart on you either, then…..I don’t think we can be friends 4. I also expect you to surprise me and fart on me too because the laughter that follows is priceless 5. Taco Bell gives me diarrhea
How do people do backflips and shit? like i can’t even flip my grilled cheese without fucking up